Why Would You Do That!?

Spelling is bizarre.  Scratch that, spelling is nonsensical.  Until about a century and a half ago, the English tongue didn't even have standard rules of spelling but then, as Terry Pratchett exposits in Good Omens, someone decided there Ought To Be Rules.  So rules there are, and, like most rules imposed to regulate social standards rather than prevent harm, they don't always make a lot of sense.

As a result, I count myself fortunate in having an instinct for spelling but refrain from pestering my loved ones with corrections.  If someone wishes to pay me to proofread, excellent!  That's what I'm here for.  Unsolicited critique, on the other hand - well, let's say I learned my lesson from spending roughly half of high school as a notorious know-it-all.



It didn't help, at the time, that many of my peers thought deliberate spelling was the coolest thing since sliced bread. (Speaking of which, where did that saying even come from? Why is sliced bread so cool?  I need answers!)  This didn't exactly set me into a tailspin of linguistic despair, but I may or may not have developed an eye-tic which lingered most of the way through university, at which point it finally sunk in that what other people do, so long as it causes no harm, is their own business, even if it's silly.

This holds true for deliberate misspellings in business names.  Much as I hate to admit it, it really does.  Honestly.  If I say that enough, I'll actually convince myself and this pet peeve, like a stray tom-cat that's decided he loves you but refuses to stop spraying on everything you own, will go away and bother someone else.

Someone else - like the people who think it wise to name their entrepreneurial baby "Xquisite Salon" or "Klassy Kampers!"*  And it's always something like that, or at least often enough as to seem like always.  Maybe it's effective.  I don't know.  Perhaps there's a large sector of the population whose faith in the competence, legitimacy and professional manner of a business's product or service absolutely blossoms under the sight of carefully misspelled words intended to convey said endeavor's sophistication.

To me, though, it comes across exactly like the yuppie parent who names their child Aydynne in an attempt at originality.  Sure, it's original, I guess, but the fact that its originality lies solely in its spelling means people who don't know your  child are constantly going to get it wrong.  Furthermore, this type of originality screams 'I'm trying really hard to be different!' which looks adolescent both on its own and in light of the  teeming hordes gracing their offspring - and their businesses - with creatively spelled epithets.

I don't know about anyone else, but the implication that its owner has yet to graduate high school sharply decreases my likelihood to give a business my custom.  It seems far better to keep the spelling standard, and let the quality of work speak for itself.

*I've encountered several places whose initials are KKK.  Given the ubiquitous nature of anagrams in the age of texting, you would think those responsible would notice this.  Do people seriously just not think about these things at all?